Breaking up is hard to do and can become an understandably stressful moment in anyone's life. And when this heartbreaking event happens, one of the major elements that is particularly struck by this blow is intimacy. Intimacy is essential to keeping any relationship afloat and if one or both partners withhold this necessary ingredient, then it becomes difficult to build trust, love, or communication with confidence. Of course, no one wants history to repeat itself. So, here are just a few ways anyone can build intimacy in a new relationship.
An easy way to consider how to develop intimacy is with this simple acronym: TLC. Yes, it's been used to represent "tender, love, and care." But, since we're talking about intimacy, we will instead use the phrase "trust, learning, and communication." These three words are like the legs that hold up any relationship. But, unfortunately these qualities are taken for granted.
Trust is by far one of the hardest factors of a relationship to maintain. Everyone has their own special relationship with trust and if they've been burned once by a former partner, then they may not share this as easily with a new one. A delayed phone call or even a partner's change of habits can signal a red flag, even if these behaviors are innocuous. If trust has been damaged in a former relationship, then it needs time to heal. Building trust is not easy and there is no formula to make it happen faster or at all. Common sense and an open mind can help to determine what type of person is likely to take advantage of their partner's trustworthiness. But, above all, one's inner strength must be optimal to ensure that even when trust is broken, it doesn't break the person's will or their spirit.
Once a new partner enters the scene, it's essential to learn about their perspectives on life and love. And how else can anyone learn about another person than by asking questions? This doesn't mean that a new partner is interrogated or interviewed. Remember, intimacy is about sensuality and warmth. For example, choosing a date at a quiet restaurant allows each partner to engage in meaningful conversation. Forget about favorite movies and colors. These are fun facts that each partner will eventually learn as they continue to enjoy each other's company. Instead, consider the following: What are their goals in life? Why are they attracted to their date? If either partner is hesitant to answer a question that is important to the one asking it, then this reluctance might suggest that their priorities are not in the same place.
Communication is obvious; but it isn't always about talk. This is saved for last because communication can include body language, writing emails or letters, and other non-verbal cues that can speak volumes about a person's thoughts and feelings. Once someone has learned about their partner, and has developed some trust with that person, then the way they can communicate will become a special exchange that only they understand and respect. This is crucial when either partner needs to be honest about their feelings. And honesty is hardly ever the best policy because it may often cause upset or even heartbreak. When communication is strong and both partners are straightforward with their thoughts and how they express them, then it gives their partner a chance to internalize what they've heard and respond accordingly.
Intimacy in a new relationship requires TLC to make it work. It also requires patience. As Elvis once crooned, "fools rush in." And if a former relationship has left someone feeling sensitive and not confident about their own judgment, then plenty of time is needed in order to understand their new partner and understand themselves. This time is also essential in rediscovering their inner strength and understanding that while partners come and go, self-love and self-respect are two qualities that should never fade away.